Hmmmm

Playing around with fun blog designs. Maybe this will inspire me to post more. Part of my problem is TIME. Part of my problem is what to write about. I think I need to see my blog as my personal journal and not write for an audience. But I'm also considering focusing on food. We'll see .

Oh, my eleven-year-old daughter just started a blog for home school. She is going to post things she is learning about as well as creative writing stuff...and probably whatever she happens to think would be fun. She is such a sweet, fun-loving, happy girl. I'm so blessed to be able to be her mom.
Please stop by her blog and leave her a kind comment.
Thanks!

Course Correction

I haven't been motivated to blog this summer. Too discouraged by what I don't accomplish, don't finish, don't check off my list. And then, I've also been struggling with meeting the needs of all four of my children. I love being a mom, and longed for motherhood for most of my life, but it sure is hard!

Mommy-ing really takes it out of me. Maybe because I'm an introvert who needs quiet to think straight and alone time to function on normal level. I jumped into foster care as a starry-eyed single girl who wanted to make a difference, and then--boom--five years later I have four children--wonderful, beautiful, precious children--who all have a multitude of needs that I have to meet. The depend on ME. Yikes, kind of scary.

Anyway, what I'm trying to get to is this. I've spent five years trying really hard to be a good mommy. I've failed so many times. But this is a learning experience. Hopefully, I'm learning from my mistakes. What I've realized recently is that during all this struggling, I've been slowly veering off course.

Off course of what? Of my walk with God. I didn't jump off all of a sudden. It's been a slow meandering away from His best caused by little choices and mixed up priorities. I forgot that He doesn't expect me to figure it all out alone, to face each day of diapers, messes, tantrums, tears, piles of dishes, and four little lives on my own. Or, maybe I didn't actually forget this, I just stopped asking Him for help. Somehow I am finding myself frantically peering around, looking for that path I used to be on. The path where I was in daily communion with God. Where I spent time in His Word, building my self up to face any life could throw at me.

So, now I'm in the process of trying to get back on course. I'm realizing that I can't be a good wife and mother if I'm always running on empty. I'll try to post an update now and then as I work to get back where I should be--spiritually and physically; work on taking care of myself as well as my family.

Home

We are home.

We were away for a whopping five weeks! It was a long time to be away, but it was nice to have time to see friends and family more than once and get some time to relax and enjoy the summer up in our old stomping grounds. We played at the lake, the park, various Grama's houses.

We visited with friends, cousins, aunts, uncles, Gramas, Grampas and Papas.

We met Smokey.

We boated, floated, picnic-ed, and barbecued. We went though lots of sunscreen and flip flops.

We got new teeth.

Not that you can see them in this photo...

And we experienced a few firsts.

We had a great time.

But it's so nice to be home.

Now the school year is just around the corner, but we are going to try to squeeze in a little more summer magic.

Side note:

I am in the process of assessing my purpose here on this blog. I'm contemplating different directions that I want to take. I want to be more consistent with posting. So, if anyone is out there, if anyone is reading, please don't give up on me. I will be back soon!

...Checking In

Sorry, I've been absent lately...we've been adjusting to new schedules, celebrating birthday boys and daddies, enjoying the sun, being lazy, and getting ready for a long trip to see family. I've had lots of post ideas floating around in my head, but it's been hard to sit down and formulate actual words. The call of the sun and fresh air, the garden; not to mention the usual housewifely duties and the fact that there are four energetic, hungry children running around...well, only three can actually run...anyway, you get it! Blogging hasn't been on the top of my list.

And now the kids and I are about to head out on a month long visit to see my family back home. We are so excited. We've really missed them since we moved last August. There will be lots of cousin fun, swimming in the lake, boat rides, marshmallow roasting, mud pie making, grama hugs, long chats with my mom and sister, laying on the beach in the sun while your cold-from-swimming-too-long skin gets all tingly and warm...falling asleep to cricket song and lapping waves...

So, I won't be posting much for a while longer. I'm hoping to be able to devote some more time to this blog when I get back. We'll see.

I hope you are enjoying your summer!

June Joys

... dapples of sunlight on dimples...




...shady hats...

...strawberry rhubarb pie...

...baby quail...

...and don't forget...

school's out

cherries

roses

peonies

farmer's markets

days at the beach

lazy afternoons

picnics

cricket song

sleeping with open windows

~ah, so many things to love about June...

Then, we also have Father's Day and my son's second birthday...

Lots going on around here. Parties to plan, gardening to attempt, children to feed and occupy...I'm currently trying to map out a summer schedule and activities that will accommodate four children with a wide range of ages, interests, personalities, and capabilities; as well as a mommy who would really like everyone to be happy and sweet and peaceful all the time...I know, I'm dreaming here, but June is such a dreamy month, don't you think?

Come on, tell me what you love about June...I really want to know!

Help!

Something has been noshing on my baby broccoli and lettuce! I've also noticed that some marigold petals and a few nasturtium leaves have been nibbled.

What could be wrecking havoc in my little garden?

It's completely fenced in--so it can't be rabbits.

There are lots of birds in and out...quail, doves and others, but birds don't eat plants, do they?

Could it be some kind of bug? I've seen little black ants and those "roly-polies" as my kids call them. (I don't know what they really are called, but they roll up into a ball when touched.)

Oh, and so far, it's just one brick raised bed that's been affected. My herbs, tomatoes, and other marigolds are in different beds and are fine.

Any gardeners out there? Can you help? What should I do?

Garden Notebook

I've been away from here for too long. Enjoying spring...day trips to the mountains and the lake (Tahoe), working in my little courtyard garden, sitting in the shade of my peach tree with the scent of lilacs drifting on the breeze. As well as all the daily rhythm of laundry, cooking, cleaning, dishes, diapers, and child rearing--all more sweet and peaceful with the spring sunshine and breezes flowing through the house.

(Oh, and celebrating...my daughter turned eleven. Eleven! How can I have an eleven year old? When she first came into my life, she was scrawny, sweet and six. She was missing her four top teeth and looked like a kitten when she smiled, which was often. Due to a speech disability, I couldn't understand a word she said...she pantomimed fluently for the first three months until, finally, through the grace of God, I understood most of what she was saying. Now, she is tall, almost as tall as me (which isn't saying much, actually), beautiful, and full of life as

Anyway, I'm stopping in to record some notes for my Garden Notebook. I will try to keep up on this through the summer.

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Garden Notebook

May 22, 2009

Back courtyard garden

Planted last week:

~marigolds

~impatiens

~Spanish lavender

Planted this week:

~Broccoli, butter crunch lettuce, and nasturtium seeds

Herb garden:

Four inch pots planted May 20: basil, thyme, dill, chocolate mint, and chives

Peach tree-lots of fuzzy green globes, getting bigger by the day!

Oh, I forgot to photograph my tomatoes. One Big Stripy heirloom and four Sweet 100's.

To do:

~seeds to plant: peas, swiss chard

~buy and plant: bell peppers, onions, potatoes, garlic, and green beans

~buy ladybugs for roses (covered in aphids!)

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I know it isn't much; budget restraints are keeping me from going hog-wild at the garden center. But little by little, it's becoming my sweet little potager. Wasn't I blessed to inherit this little space already outfitted with brick raised beds, a peach tree, and two rose bushes? It gets a good amount of sun throughout the day, but gets nice and shady around five. It is all fenced in, so I can easily keep an eye on the little ones while I work. I've also been going out at nap time to sit under the peach tree to read. So peaceful!